YOU are the deciding factor
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Monday, March 18, 2019
By Joy & Charley
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How do you really get the life you want?

I told her "you just have consciously decide to just do."  She was a relative stranger I had just met and yet here we sat talking about weight loss. Her wanting to lose a significant amount of pounds and I sympathetically knowing exactly how she felt having walked through my own weight loss journey. I know what it takes. I have lost about 100 pounds over a decade of "doing" and I still have more to go. It takes day in and day out of grinding and failing. Failing is a given.  Yes, conversations with strangers can go real and deep in just five minutes with me.  I'm pretty blunt when this topic comes up. Because tip toeing around the truth isn't going to get you any where.


Talking about changing won't get you any results. And beating yourself up while you think about it definitely won't get you results. I've done that over and over, trust me it's excruciating. 


I am asked all the time how I managed to change my lifestyle and along with it my complete outer appearance. It is the number one question I'm asked. And as much as I'd love to tell you that there is some magic pill to take...there isn't. It takes a whole lotta work. LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH. Changing your lifestyle in the health and wellness department REQUIRES a conscious decision. It takes making different choices, and yes, it takes sacrifice but I like to describe it as a trade-out. You are trading one food item for another. You are trading one habit for a better one---one that gives you the life, energy and a pant size that you actually desire. When you tell yourself it's a trade out, it doesn't seem SO hard. In the end you are trading one life for a better one.


Our habits are the thing to monitor.  I'm a big believer in owning them. Our habits are that impactful. And even more so... Our subconscious habits are even more so THAT IMPACTFUL. 


It's easy to fall into a pattern that is working against your actual desire. Those daily habits---the one's you don't even think about---those are the dangerous ones. Because the habits that you don't think about are one's actually creating the life you are in! We often are SO blind to just how detrimental those daily decisions are to our life.


Just a few weeks ago I realized that one of my subconscious habits was taking me down a road that I really didn't want to be on. It came in the form of a small kernel that popped into glorious yumminess that seemed like the best food choice to treat myself to after the kids were in bed. What started as a random treat, slowly turned into a daily occurrence and all those extra calories?? Well, they were showing up in places that didn't need any extra love. I would reach for a bag to pop the minute I sat down for the evening without even thinking. And THAT is what I'm talking about. Our daily choices matter because they add up over time. And they matter in ALL areas....our food choices, our lack of physical activity, in our home environment, and most definitely in our relationships. I see marriages early on that have the makings of a divorce all over them just in the manner in which they speak to each other. Take it from one divorced girl, our relationship interactions matter. Our decisions show their ugly or pretty heads at some point.  


I had to take ownership of the nightly decision to eat empty calories who's only purpose was to feed my emotions.  And then I had to make the conscious decision that I didn't want it anymore. That it no longer worked for me.


And so that's my advice to anyone that wants to change their lifestyle, pant size or overall happiness. You have to recognize that your current choices are not giving you the life you want. Come into agreement with the body, marriage, life you want and consciously decide what steps are you going to do to change it? It takes thought and then it takes effort. Conscious effort. 


It sounds easy. And it is but ONLY WHEN you finally decided what exactly it is that you want. So start there. Get quiet and find some alone time, and dig, dig, dig. And then consciously decide to do. YOU are the common denominator and deciding factor in your life....Only you have the ability to choose differently.


Blessings and Peace







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