I trick myself all the time. I apparently don't like to follow the rules. I'll set them up in my mind and even write them done in a journal. It reads like this..
Goal: Lose 5-7 pounds by X date
How: Stop eating crap and work out.
Why: Because I'll like myself better.
This is so laughable. I've done this so many times that I've lost count. It is no joke I write this very thing down without fail almost weekly. I give myself some imaginary rules to live by, pat myself on the back and keep on keeping on. I last for maybe one day. And then I go off track without fail. Yesterday I inhaled a vegan cookie that I had actually bought for my husband.
I promptly showed up to his work and told him I had bought him a cookie from a well known bakery but unfortunately for him I ate it on the way. He laughed and said "well..."
I like pizza and cookies, what can I say? Just passing by a pizza delivery car can make me crave it. And honestly, I'll even settle for Domino's pizza at this point. My addiction runs strong. But guess what? Eating it makes me feel horrible, as in my stomach bloats and my pants immediately feel tighter. The high content of salt may play a role here. And as much as I love the taste of it, I find myself wondering if it's really worth the horrible feelings afterward.
When is enough, enough? I am finding more and more that what I sometimes believe to be satisfying, in the end actually is not at all. At what point do you realize that your comfort zone isn't really bringing you the joy that you crave deep down?
I crave to be comfortable in my own skin. I crave my pants to feel a little looser. I crave pizza every weekend.
Yes I have some self control and I'm happy to say that I no longer beat myself about it if I do eat my husband's cookie on the way to drop it off to him. I just know I have to make different choices if I want a specific result. Like if I want my husband to feel loved, I probably shouldn't eat his cookie.
You are either OKAY with your choices or you aren't. It's honestly as simple as that.
We make excuses to justify our actions. Over and over again. I think that my bite here and there doesn't really matter but the truth is my pants don't lie. I We blame others and hardly ever take responsibility for our problems. It's the easy approach. Point the finger at everyone else.
Take me for example, I don't really love the size of my thighs but at the same time I'm not really willing to do the steps necessary to change them. Pizza is my happy place and a comfort to my taste buds. I'm sorry Kale just doesn't taste as good or even at all. In fact I HATE kale. But at this point I am quite aware what pizza will do to my thigh size if I indulge too frequently. I realize that my choices affect me. I can momentarily trick myself into believing the opposite, but in the long run my choices show up. And that goes for even deeper more life altering choices that have a bigger impact than my thigh size. All my choices matter. Every single one of them.
The ONLY way you will change habits is to become aware that all your choices matter. They are either giving you the life you want or are dragging you away willingly. You are the captain of your ship. You are steering yourself in one direction or another. You! Your life is because of you. My life is because of me. I could go on and on with examples of how I thought certain things would bring me joy, but in the end led to "tighter pants" so to speak. More times than I could count, I have been deceived into believing that my happiness is found in crap that doesn't matter.
We have to become more intentional and aware that our life is what we allowed and created. REALIZE you do have some control. You are NOT a victim of your circumstances. And GET TIRED enough to do something about it.
I can no longer be swayed by what other's are eating around me, and excuse the nip picks of junk food. I just can't. It's either tight pants or saying NO to extra calories. It's either trusting God with my unknown future and resting in His peace or deciding to give into the fear, unsettledness and unrest.
See the end result and do SOMETHING about it. Anything! Anything is better than not doing. Today I wrote down what I really wanted, and what that looked like and what choices I could do better. Get clear, and I mean really clear about what you want and make different choices that align with what you want. Or accept that it doesn't really matter to you and keep on doing the same old thing as you've always done.