Sometimes I just sit and stare at a piece of paper. I have a purpose, I know I am suppose to be writing down all that I have to accomplish, but I don't...I just sit there, my mind blank. There always seems to be just TOO MUCH to do in a given day.
I think that's why scrolling instagram seems so appealing to me, it gives me permission to check out. Except there are two problems with that 1. it wastes my precious time and 2. I end up feeling even MORE overwhelmed because now I'm triggered in my own failings and how everyone else has it all together. I am in the worst habit of checking instagram first thing, and I seriously have to stop. TIME SUCKER.
I really do try to complete a to do list every single day. I schedule out my hours because I know if I don't I will get side tracked and destracted by something that is not so pressing. I find that if I don't schedule out my day, (which may seem like death to some of you) I am kinda flying by the seat of my pants. Productivity and efficiency drives me, and nothing discourages me more than not accomplishing anything in my day.
We, as human beings, juggle a lot. I'd like to say women juggle more but I don't think that is really fair to say about the opposite sex becase each person carries a different load. But I do know that I juggle A LOT! I am a wife, and mom, daughter, friend, blogger and business owner, I work out religiously, and try to cook as many meals as possible to avoid Chick-Fil-A's drive thru. Any given day my to do list is 30-40 items long and there are some days I just can't take it.
Life is constantly changing, and for those that love change--well good for you. I don't love change, I tolerate it. But I am fully aware that change is a given. Kids will keep growing, business will go up and down, relationships have good days and bad days. Carreers change- and with it a whole new set of problems and learning new things. I could go on and on with a list of changes that life throws at us, but you all know. Life changes and we can change with it or we can hold on to the past with a death grip and refuse to roll with the punches.
I have learned and embraced the fact that my To-do list will never end and is in constant motion. Every day adds to that list, and that's ok. And you know what? I have found freedom in that. I've started tackling it in a different way ever since that realization and it has taken so much pressure off of me.
Every morning I wake up, and start myself in a quiet time. I sit in silence with a steaming hot cup of decaf (yes decaf, that's another story) and pray, meditate on God's Word. I end my time alone with a simple prayer "God, what do you want me to focus on today? This list seems long, and I don't know where to start."
Some days He tells me to focus on writing, other days he says focus on your children and let go of any business things, other times He tells me to read a book or pick up the phone and call a friend. Each day looks different, and the priorities change by the hour, but I let God direct me. It takes every bit of pressure off of me because I am doing what God has CALLED me to do. Nothing else matters to me. I just want to be in a place where I lay my head down at night and say "I did what God told me to check off my To-Do list today" and let me tell you friends that is so fulfilling and leaves me with oh, so much peace.
My sister recently said to me "I just don't hear God's voice the way you do." I encouraged her, yes you do, it is a small whisper. He can be in a thought that pops into your mind. He is that repetitive phrase you are hearing for weeks on end. He is that verse that seems to be in BOLD as you read. He is peace in your heart Anytime there is peace, God is there in it. Start looking for him everywhere, He is there. It is a practice. He will speak, you just have to ask Him.
Peace and Blessings!